However, god speed to you if you happen to go home with a Marilyn, an Allison, a Brittany or dare I say a Colleen. I hope you have your spelunking gear ready, because it is going to take some cavernous digging to find that clitoris under those goose wings.
We’ve all been there. Your dapper charming self has wooed a girl by way of traditional date or maybe night time escalation. You get home, the mood is right, the drinks have been flowing and you have convinced her that in fact, yes… sex is a great idea. That magic moment comes when you start undressing her, she is on your bed and lifts her perfectly shaped bottom 6 inches off the duvet cover so you can slide her underwear off. And then you see it…
Avoid girls whose names end in consonants. This may seem strange and unsubstantiated by science, but it’s true. If you have an Erica, a Melissa, an Yvonne, or perhaps an Alexandra, rest assured you will have that perfect slit surprise when you are ready to do the deed. The beautiful symmetry of a nicely shaped vagina, each lip in direct proportion to the other only separated by a slight line. No excess labial flap, no peek-a-boo wraparound meat skin. It’s called the “o” face for a reason. Loading…
This tactic only works if you end up at her place. Are her windows covered with blinds and shutters…or curtains and drapes? If it’s blinds or shutters, she psychologically identifies her slit with straight, symmetrical openings. Proceed as normal. If she has curtains or drapes however, she is accustomed to long, malleable pieces of fabric. You can see where this is going…
Let’s be honest, those accordion lips take up some extra room. So when you meet a girl at a bar, or the office or maybe a friend’s dinner party, just innocuously bring up the gym and what people wear while they exercise. Mention your underarmour clothing. Tell her you have noticed a trend in yoga pants and spandex leggings for female gym attendees. Does she balk at the idea of wearing things so tight? Does she discuss the “freedom” of loose shorts for exercise? If so, you may have a closet pancake draper. Conversely, if she is one of the major proponents of lululemon pants then you may very well have a lady who sports an = sign for a vagina. Congratulations, a winner is you.
Roast beef is a roasted beef dish that is generally served as the main course of a meal.
A roast beef Virgina is a term that is frequently heard in the culinary community, made up of a few ingredients.
