4. Ramen Noodles Are High In Simple Carbs
Simple carbs have a bad rap in weight loss circles for several reasons; they can cause quicker spikes in blood sugar/energy levels, they’re often high in calories, and they’re not very filling (5). Eating them can trigger cravings for more simple carbs and make it hard to stick to your weight loss goals.
The majority of instant ramen noodles are made with simple carbohydrates like enriched white flour, but some brands do contain complex carbohydrates like whole wheat. It follows that they will not assist you in losing weight.
Thus, the only task remaining is to determine the depression angle. I’m not doing too badly on that front; between binge-watching excessive amounts of television and avoiding social interaction, I believe I can reach the suicidal thoughts stage in a few weeks. By then, dehydration from eating raw ramen and increasing my sodium intake will have caused me to start losing some water weight.
i’ve gained it all back, of course, in spades. I’ve gone from the normal post-pubescent spread that all men must eventually come to terms with to the point where, in less than a year and a half, I’ve gained nearly two pants sizes. It’s not that gaining weight is a concern—I anticipate being a plump muffin for the remainder of my life, as brief as it may be—what worries me is the rate at which it’s happening. I had a nice round Buddha belly at first, which my female friends thought was comforting in a teddy-bear, kind of like when I was my dad, to a when are you going to be done and what are you naming them kind of way, filling out my t-shirts and the pleats in my pants in places where I wasn’t comfortable.
I’ve been this way ever since I graduated from college and entered the “real world” (which is not the one that television would have us believe it exists, where attractive college graduates and dropouts coexist peacefully for a while in a lavish home paid for by someone else and argue about who isn’t sleeping with whom, and everything is ultimately just adorable and annoying and nothing like your life will ever be). I am aware that, unlike millions of other Americans who also struggle with obesity, the reason I am overweight is not a result of a glandular or genetic predisposition but rather that my calorie intake exceeds my energy expenditure.
i can deal with that. a little malnutrition can’t hurt too much. not that i haven’t gone to some extremes before. for two weeks about 8 months ago, i fasted. drank a lot of water and orange juice instead of food, only starting to feel faint after work one day. and i managed. not too bad, considering that the person hadn’t gone a day without eating in his entire life before. will power, that’s the ticket.
I now have my future in front of me: a box of the best ramen in the chicken vegetable flavor. This convenient little shrink-wrapped noodle brick has 54 grams of carbs, 8 grams of protein, 1580 mg of sodium, and 14 grams of fat. all told, about 380 calories. not too bad for two servings for a full day’s worth of food—not that anyone ever eats half a brick of ramen anyway.
3. Ramen Noodles Are High In Sodium
A high-sodium diet can contribute to a variety of health problems like high blood pressure, which increases the risk for stroke and heart disease (6). And a single package of ramen noodles contains about 1/3 of the daily recommended intake for sodium.
Eating too much sodium can also contribute to water retention, which can make you feel bloated and heavier than you actually are (12).
